Thursday, March 15, 2012

reaping His harvest :: giving them back to God

"Who is is it?" I asked as Rob pulled out his phone to see who was calling.

We were driving down the highway last weekend in the nasty rain, on a long-awaited date night alone.

Distracted, he glanced down at the caller id and answered his phone without a reply.

"Hey." His one-word greeting told me it was family or a friend.

His face grew serious in mere seconds.

" hmm..." I could tell he couldn't get a word in- whoever it was talking non-stop.

I stared, listening intently for any sign of who could be on the other end of the line. His face was far too serious for this to be another tech support call.

"Wait, is everybody okay?" He asked the mystery caller.

My heart stopped. My children were not with me. All of the sudden I knew who it was.

"What is it? What happened??" I had to interrupt.

"Your dad and the kids were in a wreck..."

In less than one second, I fully imagine the worst. Before I can form a single spoken word, Rob tells me, "Everyone is okay. The girls are still crying in the background, but they're just scared."

The air returned to my lungs again, but my heart was still racing.

My babies. Oh, my babies.

They were okay.

The truck didn't fare as well, but who cares about a truck, anyway? They'd all been on the way to eat pizza when another car stopped in the middle of a three lane road. The driver had suddenly run out of gas but didn't even pull his car to the side of the road. In the dark. In the rain. Our truck's brakes locked up as he tried to stop, but there wasn't enough time.

The Lord was protecting my family.

They were all fine.

When we came home, we hugged them all so much more tightly {especially my poor sweet dad}.

And you know what? I sat down on Monday to do school with my children. Just like any other day. Oh thank you, thank you, Jesus.

My heart hurts thinking about what could have happened. I know my God reigns over all things, all times, all places. But getting close to the other side scares me. A lot.

I have to trust that He knows what He is doing. That He knows what I need. That He knows all things.

My mind plays the "what if..." scenario over and over again. What if we hadn't gone on a date, what if we had taken the other car...

But I can't play that game. I have to trust that God is sovereign, and that His promises are true.

What did He promise?

All flesh is like the flower of the grass. The grass withers and the flower fades. But His Word is forever.

Death will happen to all of us at some point.
Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; for 
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass. 
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.” 1 Peter 1:22-25
The best news? His Word is true- He has made us the imperishable seed through the living and eternal Word of God.

This flesh will fade. It will get old. It will die. But Jesus made a way for us to live eternally- and He's given it to us in His Word.

And in His Word there are no promises that my children will outlive me.

It doesn't matter how obedient I am, or how I think it should all happen. He's promised trials here in this place. He wants me to trust Him- to have faith in Him, so I can see His promises in eternity.

The truck wreck isn't really a trial. I only imagine the trial that could've happened. 

I don't know how my soul would live through it- His Spirit would have to bring supernatural peace because I know I couldn't bear it alone. I know I've seen Him bring peace like that this very year.

Oh, but being sweet to my children is a little easier these past few days. My plan was to be intentionally sweet to them- doing something they loved in an effort to pour a little extra joy into their hearts.

Our sweetness activity last week?

Planting a garden.

I'm not even kidding.

We planted seeds.

Is there anything His hand is not in? 

We are but grass.

My children? Like the flower of the grass.

An little investment of $15 for seeds and soil can reap hundreds in return at harvest.

We're the ones planting these seeds, but how much did we-  how much did I- have to do with actually making them grow?

Nothing. I can do nothing to make those little plants sprout. I didn't create a single part of any of it.

I just trust that they will, because He made it work that way. I can't take the credit for these little seedlings any more than I can for the tide, or the oceans, or the mountains.

I just plant the seeds and wait for them to grow, and hope for a return at the end of the summer.

My children- like the flowers of the grass. I can't take any credit for them. I pray that they too will be born again of imperishable seed.

My investment is small- only this little time I have with them. Just a few years in the scheme of things to teach them, to love them, to show them the right way.

In my time with them, I can do nothing but love them and trust and pray they will grow, and maybe I'll get to see the harvest in the time to come. I did not create these little people. He did.

His plan is better than mine, no matter what happens. I pray that He won't let me fall when the trials come. Because I know my flesh fails me every single time.

These little ones were never really mine. I can only trust and wait in the One who makes them grow. And He is good. He is always good.

read more:
the sweetness project week 1

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