Monday, June 4, 2012

the master of the to-do list

Remember how I mentioned last week that my plans weren't going as intended?

It may well be the theme for this summer. The strangest of things have the ability to throw a kink in your plans.

Like monkey bars.

Who would've thought we would spend Sunday taking care of this?

Elijah {8} fell off the monkey bars at the park. He's such a tough kid. He barely cried, so we weren't sure it was even broken until he couldn't move his arm later.

The nurse asked him to rate his pain 1 {none} to 5 {excruciating} and he said 2. Tough guy. :) He's been a trooper.

But I'm not so sure about the monkey bars now. Or how I will ever get to my to-do list.

This weekend I was thinking of my May goals, and how far behind I am on them right now.

Last week was supposed to be catch-up, but things kept coming up, and I really didn't do even 1/2 of what was on my list.

And I won't lie- it bugs me. It really bugs me.

I was imagining my goal/priority quadrants yesterday and thinking about the rest of the year overwhelmed me. Which comes first, what next, when should I do this? How much energy should I put here?

It was mentally exhausting.

I was praying about it, and the Lord told me something very specific about my goals, and when I heard it-  no joke- the heavy burden of my endless to-do list immediately lifted from my shoulders.

His sweet words came like a whisper of relief to my heart:

"Focus on me. The rest will fall into place. Stop worrying about the future. You don't need to know what will happen."

And suddenly the lightbulb turned on.

Plans mean nothing. Goals mean nothing.

He means everything.

Why do I worry about my lists? Who really cares how many projects I get done? Or how many verses I memorize, for crying out loud?

Focus on Him and the rest will happen just the way it's supposed to. 

I love that I can trust Him- that He wants me to give Him my plans, my goals, my desires. All of it.

He promises that He will give us the desires of our heart- that He will act- that He will bring it to fruition.

Psalm 37:
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.b
4 Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.

That's the God that we serve. The One who has control over every single part of my life. He just wants me to delight myself in Him- to trust that He is my God, and He will take care of the rest.

And I have to ask myself- who is in control here? Me or Him?

I know the answer.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Looking back at last week, I realize that I spent most of my week with my husband running errands, cleaning up after my husband's awesome remodeling work, eating lunch, going on a date, and riding to work with him on his long commute to fix a computer problem.

And you know what? My sweet husband wanted me to do all of that- to be there with him. We spent an hour and a half at the eye doctor for him to get a new prescription instead of painting or cleaning, and that was exactly what I was supposed to do last week.

When will I learn that my plans aren't better than God's? I pray that I can let go of my own desires and motivation- what will those things profit me in eternity?

When will I learn to put the goals of others above my own on the list?

I imagine my goal quadrants or 82 things on my list, and right now it's all starting to blur into one big box.

I really have one priority in this life, and it's to love my Lord with all my heart.

And the rest will fall in to place.

When I do that, the to-do list will happen when God wants it to.

Focus on Him, and the rest will follow.

The burden lifts, and unreasonable joy fills my heart. What took me so long to realize this?

The peace overwhelms me when I focus my eyes on the one true Light.

The to-do list seems so much easier than ever. I serve God, and He directs my path. I delight myself in my Lord, and He shows me my priorities. He's got this.

List making can be good, but so often I let it become my master.

And I can't serve both God and my list.

The joy and peace I know is from Him is nowhere to be found when I serve myself.

If my list doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. If my plans fail, God didn't want them to be. And there is so much freedom in letting go of them.

When I focus on Him, what didn't get done wasn't supposed to, and what does get done is what He wants to happen.

I love knowing God is sovereign over my life. He is such a good, merciful Father. Praise His Holy name!

So, there are no lists today. Not for now.

And I'm excited about that.

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