would you be willing to tell your friend they have cancer?

Imagine someone tells you you need chemotherapy. And that this life-saving chemotherapy is going to heal you.

But you have no idea that you have cancer. 

Would you let them give you the IV?

Would you take a medicine with the side effects of losing all your hair, and having extreme nausea, weakness, or possibly even worse symptoms if you had no reason to?

It would make no sense. Maybe you could try it once, but as soon as you felt the first round of effects you'd quit because there was no reason you'd ever endure that kind of suffering for no purpose.

That's what happens when we present the message of salvation without acknowledging our sin and guilt.

A gospel that doesn't show us our sin and sentence is not the whole Gospel.

We cannot neglect the truth of God's Word: we have all sinned. And whoever does not believe is condemned already. John 3:18

None of us our righteous- no, not even one. Romans 3:10

Yet when you go out and meet a stranger and ask them what they think will happen when they die, almost all of them say they will go to Heaven. Everyone thinks that they are good enough to go to Heaven because they are good people.

They have no idea whatsoever that they are sick.

The Great Physician is useless to them, because they have no idea that they have terminal cancer.

If only they knew:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23

and that:

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. John 3:36

If you knew that you were destined to die because of the cancer you brought upon yourself, you would understand that you desperately needed the medicine to live, and you probably wouldn't hesitate to take it. You would be thankful someone told you before it was too late!

The short term effects of the chemo would be worth the end result, and you would be grateful for the chance to be healed, wouldn't you? If you didn't believe you were truly sick, you'd never feel the need to be healed.

Jesus came to heal the sick, not those who are well.

And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17

He came to bring good news to those who are poor, brokenhearted, and in captivity.

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; {Isaiah 61:1, Luke 4:18}

But please listen- if you don't know you have a need for a Savior, you are lost. 

15 “‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. 

19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. 21 The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. Revelation 3

Realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked on your own is necessary to understanding what your Savior has done for you. You must understand you are naked so that you realize you need clothing!

To pretend that we are something when we are nothing is a fool's game.

For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3

To avoid telling people they have sinned against God is to lead them straight to Hell. To not tell them of their sin is to not tell them they have cancer and will die.

We cannot neglect to share the whole Gospel. The truth is that you and I both have gravely sinned against God, and His wrath abides on us because we have broken His law. We have lied, stolen, coveted, hated, and set up idols of worship in place of the one true and living God.

And we will stand before Him in judgment. There is no question that we must all give an account to God. {2 Cor. 5:10}

The question is, will Jesus take your place on that day, or will you stand condemned because you didn't believe? He is the way, the truth, and the life, and no man comes unto the Father except by Him. {John 14:6} He stood in our place- He took our punishment, so that we could live. The Father's will was to crush Him so that we could be saved:

Isaiah 53:
10 Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall seei and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Why did Jesus die?

To bear our iniquity. To bear our sin- the righteous one died to make many be accounted righteous!

4Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
5But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53

His crushing was necessary because we sinned against the Holy God.

But praise the LORD, by his wounds we are healed!!! By taking our punishment, He brought us peace with God!!!

Though He was perfect, He willingly laid down His life as the sinners deserved and satisfied the legal requirement of death because of sin. Because of OUR sin. He fulfilled the law, and defeated death itself.

And that is the Good News, my friends!!!

That's what the world needs to know- there is only one way to be saved, and it is through the name of Jesus.

12And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among menc by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

Do the people in your life know this? Your friends, your co-workers, your family? Do they know they  are sick and wretched because they have sinned against the Holy God, and that they are condemned if they do not repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?

That's what we are called to share. And we cannot wait another day to obey the Lord's command:

15And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation. 16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. Mark 16:15

It is more important that they know the painful truth than they perish without the knowledge they were ever sick.

We must love them more than we love what they think of us. WE must love them enough to tell the truth, and we have faith in the Lord enough to obey His command.

We must share the whole truth with them, so that they too can be saved from the wrath of God.

When I fear to share the whole truth, I have to remember- 

In the end, what they think of me means nothing, but what they think of Christ means EVERYTHING.

He is the Good News of the Gospel.

He alone can heal us.

He alone can save us from the wrath of God we deserve.

Jan 20 = a day of fasting and prayer for God to change abortion

After almost two weeks off from blogging, I have so much to tell you, but before I talk about anything else this year, I want to share what has been heavy on my heart since last month. It kind of came out of nowhere in my prayer time in December.

That day, I posted this over on facebook:

oh friends. For some reason, my spirit has been heavily burdened since my prayer time this morning. I feel called to pray for abortion to end. Like face-to-the-floor aching, seeking the face of the Lord for the lives of the precious little ones who are being pulled apart limb by limb from their mother's wombs. It is overwhelming to me. 

I've never fasted before in my life, but I feel called to fast in prayer over this. Will you fast with me? 

The day to fast that immediately came to mind during my prayer time is MLK day, which is January 20th. That day is 7 weeks from today exactly. 

Would you maybe be willing to join me that day in fasting for the lives of these little ones? That somehow God would intervene and save them? 

Maybe God will work a mighty work and we might have believers across the nation praying and fasting together on that day? 

I know our God can save those babies. I can't change the hearts of those doing it, but I know WHO can. 

Will you pray about joining me?

MLK Day, January 20, is 2 weeks from today. This nagging thought keeps swirling in my brain for these last few weeks- what if what we are missing in this praying about abortion thing is for our own hearts to change?

These are our people, our nation, our friends, our families, our neighbors- the men and women who checkout in the same grocery store lines as we do. They are no different than we are. This is as much our problem as it is theirs. It was our own grandparents and parents and you and I who have allowed our culture to become this way.

Maybe our minds have drawn lines in the sand- and "we could never do that" has become the secret language of condemnation that we have had toward those participating in it. Maybe the mental separation of ourselves from those doing it keeps our hearts from repenting from the sickness that is happening all around us. Maybe we as believers, are just as guilty.

How do we go on with regular life knowing that innocent lives are being taken? I know I am completely guilty. 1000% guilty. I am guilty of thinking I could never, and perhaps that hardness of my heart has only helped Satan in his mission to kill and destroy and devour. Who knows that I haven't done the same unknowingly?

I don't have all of the answers, but I feel certain we are called to repent before the Lord for our own sins and for the sins of our nation. We need God to open our eyes to our own sin, and break us first, so that our prayers will not be hindered. We need our God to clean and purify our hearts so that we can love the ones around us who desperately need Jesus as much as we do.

And crazy enough, first thing this morning, I saw this article from Matt Chandler. He says it all so much better than I can:

Who is more vulnerable, who is more the least of these than the unborn? Who is more fragile, who is in need of more protection, who is in need of more help than the unborn? So what are we to do as the people of God? The first thing we need to do is repent. Some of us need to repent for actively being involved in this. There’s grace and mercy for you. I started the way I started on purpose. There’s forgiveness and mercy for all. 

and he goes on to say:

The second thing we can do is we can pray, guys. This is a spiritual issue. You don’t have the science in front of us that we have in front of us and not be moved to do anything about it unless your eyes are blinded, your conscience is seared. So we can pray. We can pray for judges. We can pray for those working with women. We can pray for advocacy and pregnancy centers. We can pray.

Will you join me in praying for our hearts to be broken, for us to share the love of Jesus with everyone around us, so that we can love them as He did? So that maybe, God will hear our cries and confessions and change our attitude to see the brokenness that is happening around us? That He will put a fire in our bellies and a burning desire in our hearts to save these precious little babies and to show Jesus to the mamas and daddies to whom they belong?

Oh, this burden is so very real, so very strong.

Do we see it? Souls are at stake. Living souls.

Our God is so big, He can do GREAT and wonderful things and change our culture, if we seek Him. I know He can do it.

I'll be praying and fasting on January 20 for God to save us. That He would humble and change me first. That he would show me my own sin here, my own apathy and participation, and clean the hearts of His people first. That He would do mighty and powerful things, and that His people would be willing to risk our own comfort and convenience to share the Truth, even if it means being hated by the world. That He would give us the strength to stand against evil with the power of the Holy Spirit so that lives can be forever changed.

Oh friend, will you prayerfully consider joining me on that day?

if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

{I also made a facebook event you can attend and share with your friends as well if you're over there...}

women living well book study: ch. 19-20 discussion + new study guide {on media, coveting, and how to be a Proverbs 31 lady}

This post is the part of the WLW book study series- you can find all the details and the previous posts in the study here!

Can you believe we're almost done with our study? What a fun journey it has been to walk through this book with you guys!!  I can't wait to hear how your week went!

Chapter 19- Media and Your Homemaking- Times Have Changed

I am completely amazed at how good we have it these days. Every day I throw my clothes in the washing machine, microwave my food, take hot showers, and can have my coffee ready in hand in less than 30 seconds! And it's only within the last hundred years that these conveniences were even possible! Isn't that crazy to think about?

But much of the "free" time all of these conveniences offer me usually get spent doing and consuming more, and much of that for me is happening online. My other world, if you know what I mean. Do you ever feel like there is an inner pull to be online so that you can keep up with what's happening too?

Again, blogging for me, blurs lines that used to be more black and white because of the need to be present more often. But years ago now {before blogging}, I deactivated my Facebook account and found so much freedom from wanting to know everything that is happening to everyone else. It let me disconnect from that desire to be in on everything by simply limiting my options. Plus I had way {WAY} more time to work on projects around our home. It was wonderful and I encourage you to try it if you're getting that insatiable need-to-know feeling! {And you can always reactivate it later so you have nothing to lose!}

And another factor that blurs the line of just enough and excess is that there is so much to learn online! I feel like I'm doing well by learning how to do all of this stuff!! ;) And much of it is very profitable- in fact, years ago, when Crystal from Money Saving Mom blogged about Dave Ramsey, I decided to read his book, and we became debt-free other than the mortgage in 18 months!! And I've been encouraged by other moms and homemakers and have learned about oil pulling, cooking, and so much more.

But there is a line to cross for sure- and you can become discouraged by seeing how much you're not doing in comparison to others. I have learned over the years that we all have different strengths, and when I am tempted to covet the strengths of others or feel inadequate in comparison, I have to firmly fix my eyes on Jesus. I pray and I tell the Lord that my strength and my hope is only found in Him and that I need Him to help me set my face like a flint on the path that He has set before me, and I ask that He would keep me from looking right or left at what others are doing.

My eyes need to be fixed on Jesus because He is everything to me. When I'm looking to fill up my time seeking more outside of Him, I find I get discouraged because I no longer am remembering the only hope and true joy I have in this life. 

Shopping for bargains, finding crafts to do on Pinterest, searching for the best recipes- those things are great and all, but none of them will last or fill me up. In fact, at the end of my life, I probably won't remember the many hundreds of hours I spent in front of my screen. Does that change the way you see browsing the internet too? It can be a life-sucker if we aren't careful.

I have two choices in what I do with my online life- either my heart is set on serving my Lord in these things, or it is set on serving myself. I don't want to waste the gifts and resources that God has given me for homemaking and for being a light to others, and I don't want to seek fulfillment or lust after what others have either. 

I'm so not good at this, but I know that the Lord can redeem what is broken when I seek after Him. And that's what I hope you might consider too- will you simply ask Him to reveal if and where you're going astray in this area? I am so convicted to pray over my internet time. I want to do well and bring God glory with my time spent online as well as in real life.  I am praying for you this week- would you pray for me too?

I love this quote from the end of the chapter on page 196: 

Jesus Christ said in Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” I am learning how to live the crucified life one step, one day, one month, one season, one year, one decade at a time. God has used marriage, parenting, and homemaking to show me my ugly sin and to sanctify me. That is the process we all face: sanctification, or becoming more like Christ. On my own, I am feeble at best.

Rejoice in your uniqueness. Have fun being you! Delight in your individuality. 

You are chosen and precious, and the Lord has given you a unique set of gifts, and a unique path on which to walk. Follow Him, and He will lead you in the right way. :)

Chapter 20- Discipline and Diligence: The Proverbs 31 Woman

There is so much to say about that 31st chapter of Proverbs! I love how Courtney broke it down into manageable chunks of real, practical advice for real girls today- it was honest, awesome Titus 2 advice. I really loved the tips on how to discipline yourself to rise early and how to get the eagerness of the Proverbs 31 lady!

I've read this chapter of the Bible and compared myself to this poem of a godly woman and felt inadequate many times in the past, but in the last few years I would say my perspective of it has changed. 

I don't feel overwhelmed when I read it these days because I have realized over the years that these noble characteristics of a godly woman don't come from her own strength. I felt like I was failing in fulfilling them before because I was! My efforts apart from the Lord were and are in vain. I have no hope of ever being good enough, or even better than I currently am without the Lord. No hope. None.

The Lord is my portion, my strength, and my salvation. Like the quote above from the last chapter, I am feeble at best! My adequacy in serving my family comes from the Holy Spirit alone-inspiring me and leading me to love my family and others first, and His love works outward through my hands and feet. When I try to be the Proverbs 31 lady on my own strength, I fail. Big time. I have the exact opposite of every noble character listed on page 198. I have done them wrong all at one time or another, and even now!

I just want to encourage you- the Lord can do this in us!! He can change our hearts from being self-seeking to putting our families and others before ourselves and taking care of their needs as we should. When we love Him, we long for Him to change us and to make us more like Him. And He does!! 

He can make us all into that Proverbs 31 lady who gives, and works, and loves so well. 

Do you want to bring God glory in working with your hands, in buying for your family, in rising early to put Him first, and bringing in a harvest of good works? Seek Him. With all of your heart. Love Him, seek His strength to do these hard tasks, seek to bring Him glory, and His love will shine through you into everything you do. The Lord will answer, and He will do it for His glory and your good! :)

It's kind of weird, but that Proverbs 31 lady actually makes me smile now. I like her so much more now that I realize the Lord gave her that strength! :) I pray we can become what the Lord wants us to be as wives, homemakers, and mamas. What a gift we have been given to live this life and know Him!  Our God can do such great and wonderful things.

Oh, friends- may we seek Him in every part of our lives. 

Father God, we come before you completely and fully inadequate. We know we fall so very short of your holiness and your glory, and we trust in You for redemption through the work of your Son on the cross. We praise you for your goodness to us and for your GREAT love. Thank you for saving us, Jesus. We ask in your name that you would allow us to do your will- that you would allow us to bring you glory in our time spent here. We pray that you will change our hearts to be what you would want us to be, and especially in our homes where so few see us. Please help us be the women you want us to be Father. We love you and believe you can do great things in us through your Spirit and we ask for your strength this week as we live our lives for you.

Let's discuss this week's reading, shall we? :D I would love to hear your thoughts!! 

How do you monitor your internet intake?

How do you feel media/the internet affects your homemaking? Does it help you or hinder you more?

What were your favorite parts of Proverbs 31? 

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download the final study guide

{alternate link to Google docs}

women living well book study: ch. 16-18 discussion + new study guide {on homemaking, and imperfection}

This post is the part of the WLW book study series- you can find all the details and the previous posts in the study here!

Let's jump right in to this week's discussion, shall we?

Chapter 16: Juggling Homemaking, Ministry, and Work

I loved hearing Courtney's story, didn't you? It's always fun to learn how others have walked before you knew them! I was married at 19 1/2, graduated from college at 20, worked full-time for a few months, and then we had our first baby 3 days after I turned 21. I went from college girl to career-girl to stay-at-home mama in 5 months!

Staying home was hard at first! I was used to life at high speed, and then, suddenly, I was a full-time mama working part-time one day a week. The early days were sweet though- we never realized how quiet and easy they were until the rest of the kiddos came along! :P

In the next five years we had three more kids. So that meant we had 4 kids 5 and under! It was by far the craziest time of our life, especially when #4 was colicky and needy. We thought we had this parenting thing figured out until she came along! :)

I started teaching at our gym when the youngest was around 6 months, and have been teaching a few hours a week ever since. Then I added in a blog that takes many hours each week, and a newborn later this year... and well, sometimes it gets crazy around here! :)

The more kiddos we have, the more messes we have for sure... but we find the older they get, the more they can participate in the cleaning process! :D The boys are 10 and 8 now, and still need supervision, but they can fold and put away clothes, wash dishes, unload the dishwasher, organize and clean up all of the toys, sweep the floor, and clean their rooms, and the little girls can do the same. They are all good helpers when they're monitored. ;)

free chore cards

We've used chore cards, as well as cleaning zones, and now that the kids are older, the cleaning zone system works better for us. Our house is always a little messy, but since the newest baby came and we all stay home every day, it's messier than it has been in the last couple of years. It's a bit more chaotic, but it's livable for sure. ;)

I have had to let my internal standard of perfection go, especially in the last three months. We pick up the house at night if we have time, and sometimes the dishes stay in the sink for a couple of days. {we can't go longer than that because we run out of room, LOL!}.

Figuring out the new life we have this year has been a challenge for sure- with full-time homeschooling, a new baby, working, blogging, church, meeting with friends, Bible study, birthday parties... it's kind of a one day at a time thing! I know it is a short season though- someday I will have a perfectly clean house, but only because there will be no kids living here. And that will be it's own challenge {one I'm not looking forward to!}.

Chapter 17- Making Your Home a Haven

Okay, so did you feel like you lived in home #1 {distant and distracted} and home #2 {engaged and enjoyable} at the same time? {p. 173- 174}

I think blogging brings a big challenge for me- I feel like I'm on the computer many hours of the day {often too many}, and yet I'm supposed to be there too. It's a hard, weird place to be for a mama. It works, and I love that I'm with the kids almost all day long, yet there are things I know I'm missing because I'm distracted by the computer or my phone.

With the last few weeks of being sick and having a new baby who wakes often, my head feels like it's spinning from being exhausted and pulled in so many directions, so I've been forced to take a step back from working so much at night after dinner.

It's been so good to step back a little, rest, and read books more after a long day of homeschooling, blogging, cleaning, cooking, and exercising. And this week, I've been surprised at how often my patience lasted and I could speak softly! It could only be the Lord giving me the strength because I've not felt great physically! I love the tips on using peace-filled words on page 177.

We put on the music at dinner time and usually clean up together, and then the kids play games at night before bedtime. We have a family night every week where we watch a survival show and eat pizza on the floor {it's the only time food is ever allowed in the living room, so it's extra special, :P}.

Chapter 18- Routines that Bring Rest

Do you have a routine in place at your house? We have before, and we have an unofficial one now for sure, but we generally are fairly unstructured with so many little variables running around. ;) I like to make plans, but hold them loosely for sure. We never know when someone might be sick or break an arm, or our dinner plans may change. :) Since my husband mostly works from home, we are almost always together as a family, and that makes life sweeter than ever.

Like I mentioned before, I've found that Sunday morning preparation {p. 189} is essential when you have to get out the door for church. I've been failing miserably at it for the last 7 weeks or so, and we've been winging it almost every Sunday morning {which makes us late!}. But the days I'm organized are so much better for my attitude, even when we still don't get to church on time. I know preparing beforehand really does and has worked for us in the past. ;)



So I have to tell you- all of these little homemaking/mama/wife imperfections I know I have tend to add up in my mind, but somehow God has been good to not let me dwell on how many things I'm not doing as well in this season. Grace is there, undeserved, and I am thankful for it.

I remember how much more efficiently I did things before we added #5 to the mix, but that ease pales in comparison to the joy that little man brings our family. Who needs empty laundry baskets every day? There will be a day for that, soon enough. Right now I'm enjoying lots of baby snuggling and that perfect gummy grin. :) Oh, what a blessing he is to all of us!

Expecting chaos, trying to plan for it, not making plans sometimes, having more messes, relaxing when we can, being late every now and then: that's life with 5 kiddos for us, and I'm okay with it {most of the time!}. It's not perfect- and it's not easy, either- but it's wonderful. We all have so much fun together. It's a precious time in our lives, and I love it. I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Right now, like Joy said so well here, I've found that peace in my home starts with my heart. My contentment with the state of things in my home and with my children makes such a difference in how I act and react to my family, and how they act toward each other.

I do get lost in the piles sometimes, but my purpose here has to be the same, no matter my circumstances or how messy or clean things can get. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

I want to glorify Him with the things I'm good at, and the things I'm not doing well at right now too. Excellence is great, but our weaknesses are where Christ shows His power because we are humbled and need Him the most! :)

And being a homemaker, wife, and mama is sanctifying in so many ways, but thankfully God never forsakes us. And you know what? Our homes could be perfectly run, but without the love of Christ, it is empty work. He brings the glory and the calling and ability to love our families through His power- not our own! And you can believe He can and will work in and through our imperfections. I am! :)

Isn't that incredible? :D And the best news ever?

It's not about us. It was never about us.

It's always about Him.  :)

Thank you Jesus, for giving us the chance to stand before you. Thank you that we do not have to do that work that we could never do. Thank you for calling us before we were born to be yours. We praise you for this job that you've given us to do- please give us the strength to look above the tasks to set our minds on things above, and to serve you with all of our hearts in whatever we do. We love and praise you, Father- you are so good to us, and we are so thankful.

_____________________________________________________

Questions for discussion- I'd love to hear your thoughts!!! {feel free to answer others as well!}

What kind of homemaking season would you say you are in right now? Difficult, easy? {little ones around, bigger ones, grown kids, etc.?} What do you feel good at and struggle with at home?

How do/did you include your family in your everyday chores?

Does your family have a time set aside as time together like family night too?

download next week's study guide here

alternate link to Google Docs

on being an unfaithful bride {how trials reveal your true affections}

If an overdue pregnancy does anything, it pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Come to think of it, trials of any and every kind seem to take away your comfort in some kind of way.

Losing what you had- what you loved- often seems to take you to places you don't want to go.

40 weeks, 2 days, just waiting for baby #5

For me, this pregnancy has pushed me to places like that. And part of me questions God, and asks, "why are you doing this to me- if it's your will for me, why do I feel like this?"

But I think the other part of me already knows the answer.

God is peeling back layer after layer of my comfort to reveal Himself to me.

Each layer removed seems to become more and more uncomfortable- but after removing it, I see that each little layer was actually covering up a layer of sin in my heart too.

And I see that my sinful flesh goes so very deep.

My Lord redeemed me from the very beginning, knowing exactly how full of sin I was. But even knowing my deep unfaithfulness, He bought me at a great price and took me and made me His bride. My heart had served other gods- whatever it took to make me happy, but He still loved me and made me His own, and gave me a new heart to love Him.

And He is still making me a new creation.

That's how He's using my discomfort, I think- He is peeling back layer after layer and showing me my heart- how I still chase after other gods. 

And that's where I've seen Him work so much in the last 9 months. When I suffer, I've started to see that's when my heart begins to chase other things. When what I love gets taken away- I see how I chase after things that make me happy to make things feel right again, you know?

It reminds me so much of the story of Hosea's wife. 

God told Hosea to go find a prostitute and make her his wife: 2When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the LORD. {hosea 1:2}

God does this to make an example of their marriage to Israel, who has forsaken the Lord, their true husband, and chased after other gods. Apparently, Hosea's real-life wife Gomer does the same- she first leaves behind her old life to marry the prophet, bears Hosea children, and then she returns back to a life of prostitution seeking after what she had in the past, just like Israel did to God Himself. {read about it here}

For so long I read this story and was horrified at how easily this girl returned to her old life- I just couldn't understand why she'd give up her new identity to go back to the old shameful one. It didn't make sense to me.

But then I realized- that's me.

So often I find myself seeking after fulfillment in my old identity, and going back to serving other gods like Gomer. I turn back to my old ways of seeking after empty pursuits, wanting the rewards and comforts of the old life instead of finding my identity in Christ.

When my ability to do what I used to love is taken away, how much do I seek to fill the gap myself? How often do I return to seeking after my old gods to fulfill me?

That's what I'm finding out as God peels back layer after layer of my comfort.

When I'm pressed- when the familiar gets taken away, I'm finding over and over that I try to solve my "problem" by serving the gods of doing more, having more, being more- instead of seeking after the one true God- the one who redeemed me from that very same awful sin in the beginning.

I'm Gomer, returning to my old way of life to find fulfillment again.

And I'm not being faithful to my God when I look back. When my comfort gets taken away, and I try to solve my own problems to find peace and joy again, I'm not looking to Jesus for salvation- I'm looking at myself. And here's the worst part- in looking to solve my own problems or discomfort, I don't find the peace and joy anyway, because it can't and never will be found there!

Nothing ever satisfies my heart like He does. And living a comfortable life is such an easy way to hide the fact that I'm not looking to Him for satisfaction. I can tell because when He starts to strip away all my comfort and my abilities and their luxuries, I frantically start to try to put things back the way they were by finding ways to "fix" the problem instead of relying on Him to lead me through.

Does that make sense at all?

That's why as much as I hate this time of waiting- of pressing- of discomfort, at the same time I can see God using it to reveal my sinful weakness and His strength.

It's like suffering reveals my true affections the most. 

Where does my hope truly lie? When things get taken away, how much do I still trust Him? That's what I'm starting to find out right now. 

Oh, it's so very tempting to be discouraged at how bad I am at this, honestly. I'm seeing the true me, and it stinks. But I can't feel defeated, because the best news of all time is that He knows what I will do- even when I turn back and fail Him, He brings me back to Himself again!! 

14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
15 And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor^e a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. 

16“And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ 17For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. 18And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish^f the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. 19And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. 20I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD. {hosea 2:14-20}

Like Hosea bought back Gomer after she left him, my God knows my weakness and still brings me back into His arms again!

Isn't that the most incredible thing?? I just don't understand it!

Our God still loves us, even though we don't deserve it. Even when we leave Him, and our hearts seek fulfillment elsewhere, He convicts us and brings us back into fellowship with Him!!! Even when we're uncomfortable, He doesn't forsake us. Even when I cry because another hard day is ahead, He still loves me and gives me strength.

Oh, what mercy!!!!

We don't deserve it in the least- and we never ever did in the first place! Oh, how our Lord is full of mercy and love!!

I want to serve Him, even in this waiting- this time of pressing. It's so hard when I see how much I fail Him. I hate being uncomfortable- and seeing how much I look away from Him to find joy, but I know He's revealing it with a purpose in mind. I know I can trust Him even in the discipline He gives me.

He is good, all the time.

oh, how I love this- found on pinterest here

Oh Jesus, please help me to look to you and you alone all the time. Not just when I'm comfortable, but when I'm uncomfortable too. Please help me to find strength in your joy- not in empty pursuits of more stuff or more lists, or in anything else. You are my strength and my portion, and I'm so thankful that your mercy is new every morning, because I know I fail you every day. Thank you for redeeming me and calling me your Bride- what a precious gift it is to be known by you, Lord. I want to love you with my whole life- every single part. Please give me faith to trust in your plans, no matter how I feel, Lord. I love you and praise you Jesus. Thank you for giving me new life, and a new heart that sees you.

what to do when you feel the heavy lies of Satan :: taking our thoughts into captivity

I never really thought about the importance of that verse before a few weeks ago. I think I understood it, yet somehow in my mind, it had to do with having impure thoughts, or hateful words towards another person.

But lately it's taken on a whole new meaning for me.

I won't lie- pregnancy is not easy. I have wonderful pregnancies physically- I can't complain a bit, but I do feel that pregnancy changes your hormones and it's truly a trial for a woman.

It's been a battle from the beginning, and the struggle comes not only physically, but mentally.

Any time you're tired or exhausted, or battling hormones, or trials, or even just hard situations, I think the devil really loves to mess with you a little {or a lot} more. Our defenses are down a bit, so to speak, and we become easier targets, especially if we don't stay focused on the Lord.

And what's funny {or not so funny} is that we don't even realize what Satan is doing- he's sneaky, and he is trying to devour us like prey. He doesn't make himself obvious.

For me, Satan attacks my heart and mind through negative self-talk. When I'm tired, or sick, or feeling down, he loves to sneak up on me and plant thoughts in my head that completely contradict God's Word.

The other day I was feeling low- physically, I knew I was tired from a harder week, but I kept dwelling on these negative thoughts which made me feel worse mentally.

I cried out to God and told Him I was feeling low, and He answered in a way I didn't expect. {how does that keep happening???? He does it every time!}

That afternoon we went to the pool, and I felt the irresistible urge to bring my notebook along with me.

I was praying in my chair for a while, then I took out my pen and notebook and I just started writing. I wasn't even sure what I intended to write, but I started to make a list- a description of every single thing I was feeling right then. I was embarrassed and almost fought the urge to put it all out there on paper, honestly, because I knew so much of it wasn't okay or right, or even slightly true.

Here are a few of the feelings I wrote on my list:

Sad
Alone
Defeated
Impatient

Then after I added every single feeling that came to mind, I wrote this beside my list:

Sad
Alone
Defeated                        {what Satan wants for me to feel}
Impatient


Then I started making another list:

joyful
patient
thankful                          {what God wants for me}

happy
bearer of light

After I wrote this all out, I prayed and told God all of what was in my heart and on my list. I told Him, "Lord these are my burdens- these are what the enemy is telling me- please take them from me, and rebuke the devil, Lord God. Please keep him away from me. He tells me these lies, and I know this is not what you want for me Lord. I give you all these feelings- please take them from me."

I'd never done anything like this before- though I'd prayed and asked God for His help when I was feeling low many times, I'd never openly identified every single thing I was feeling {that was ugly and sinful} and consciously given it to the Lord.

I was shocked how it changed my heart- I just felt lighter, and the next day I realized what the Lord had done for me- He had taken my burdens and my negative thoughts and redeemed them, and brought to light the truth in my heart of what He wanted for me.

It hit me- the Lord was teaching me to take these sinful thoughts into captivity like He tells me to do in His Word:

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5

I normally would push them down and pray a little, and try to tell myself the truth to negate them, but they never would fully go away, you know what I mean? I think I was trying to talk myself out of them with my own power more than God's.

I was feeling down, believing lies {about myself} from the enemy when they stood in direct contradiction to the Word of God, and I didn't realize to what extent the battle was even happening. I thought I was just feeling a little low!

When I brought every thought into the light- on paper- of God's Word and gave every one of these thoughts and feelings to Him in prayer- He took them from me, and made me realize that not only were they not right or true, they were coming from the enemy himself! Oh, that serpent is so subtle and crafty!

I just can't praise God enough- He is so very merciful to me. I am so thankful that He cares so much about me that I can tell Him anything and everything- and He makes my burdens light. He makes my heart and mind comprehend the truth instead of what Satan wants me to believe.

The Lord kept working through the rest of the next week too, bringing situations into my life that specifically showed me the lies were even further from the truth than I thought. I tell you, our GOD is living and so very GOOD and full of grace and mercy! :)

He wants us to live in the light of His Word- to walk in His truth, and defeat the power of sin through His Son, and He can do it, my friends. He WILL do it if you ask!!

If you're feeling defeated or low, or something is on your heart, I made the worksheet below for you if you want to use it. I was so amazed at what God did in my heart when I laid my burdens before Him in all of their ugliness. What I told Him came as no surprise to Him, and you won't surprise Him either.

Give light to your burdens- let His light shine on every part of your heart. Don't be afraid- God will fill those darknesses with His light:

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6

And when you feel the heavy lies of Satan start to weigh on your heart, remember this:

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Our God has already overcome the evil one, my friend. Satan cannot defeat you.

Greater is He who is in you, than he who tells you lies.

 28Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

{download the worksheet}

How have you seen God redeem your negative thoughts? 

Do you ever find yourself writing them down? 

how to enjoy the messes, the hard days, and all the seasons of motherhood

Noah, my second son turns 8 tomorrow. It's so weird how fast it happens- the days when they are 2 seem to drag on forever, but once they hit 4 or 5 you start to wonder where a whole year went. How do the days seem so long and the years so short?

it seems like yesterday they were this big... noah and elijah with their daddy in 2008

My children's birthdays always make me feel a little bit sad. I'm excited for them to grow up- I love seeing them learn and get bigger {and more independent!}, but at the same time it's bittersweet because I know it won't be too long before they will be leaving to start their own lives.

Each season is so much shorter than I even realize.

I just don't want to mess up this season of motherhood, you know? I want to give it my very best, and yet I fail at being a good mama and wife all the time. I know this is human, this is what it is to live in flesh, yet my heart still desires to be better- to love them more, to be a sweeter mama, to be less busy and more aware of their needs before they even ask. Before it's too late and they're all grown.

I want to be a good wife while I'm still young. When I turn 67, I want to look back and say I didn't do too badly when I was 30. :)

It's so much easier to put things in perspective when you think of the big picture of years...but I think my main problem is that I'm a little short-sighted during the days.

I so often forget that every little choice I make each day will add up to the decisions I made for the years.

Will my children remember a mama who really harped on them for every mess they made and how they should do better? Or will they remember a kind mama who knew how to keep a house clean and taught them well how to do the same?

The difference of those two is in how I teach them with my words and actions. There's nothing wrong with a mama keeping her house clean and teaching her children to do the same, but how their mama reacts to them makes all the difference in the world.

But how do I love this life? How do I enjoy the messes and the interruptions instead of wanting them to be over? How do I react to them with kindness and love? I want these to be the good days, the good months, the great years. They might be my only ones, after all. I don't want to see each day as another one I have to get through.

I want God to remind me of how fleeting this life is so that I will see the big picture more often. I love what is written in the Psalms- it's what my heart is crying for right now:

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

“O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Psalm 39:4

I need the Lord's help on every level, I really do. I make a lot of mistakes. I sin constantly, and without Him I will never get this. I don't know how to do it without Him- my heart needs Him to give me wisdom. How do I interact with these people I live with so that our lives are joyful and sweet instead of stressed and irritated? I'm full of flesh and they are too. I'm tired at the end of the day, and they are too. We are sinners, all of us.

It only makes sense to ask God for help... is there any way to get it right other than to go to the Creator of marriage and motherhood Himself?

This is what He taught us through His word- here's one way we can love this life and see good days on this earth as believers in Christ. It in our actions and words- we are called to bless:

1 Peter 3:8Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10For

“Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

For some reason it is so easy to only think of those verses in terms of dealing with outsiders, but I want to have sympathy, a tender heart, a humble mind, and brotherly love when it comes to my family too. Why is that always so much harder??

We won't be less accountable to do those things with our family- instead I think we might be more accountable because we've been given the chance to do what is right over and over again.

But how does it work when it comes to my husband or children?

I want to have a humble mind when it comes to disagreeing with my husband. Most of our arguments come from when I pridefully insist my way or what I know is right. Even if it is, am I being humble by firing back strong words of how wrong he is? I mess up here all.the.time.

And how many times do I miss ministering to the hearts of my children because my own heart is not tender- it's hard toward their misbehavior, and I want them to change right now. How often would a tender heart help me teach them how to do things the right way? Or how they are to react when mistreated?

My heart needs help- I can't react with humbleness, or with a tender heart, or in peace, unless God gives me His Spirit to do it with. My nature tells me that much- oh, how instantly I can react wrongly without even a second thought! Words roll off my tongue faster than should be possible.

But my God knows this about me - and He has promised to give me a new heart that is like His:

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

He already knew before I was ever born that I would need heart surgery, and He provided a way for me- and all of us- to have His Spirit through the sacrifice of His Son. Isn't that amazing? He already knew I would fail Him- that I would need His heart! 

I don't have to do this daily life on my own. I don't have to be discouraged every day because I fail so stinking constantly. My God has won this battle, and His promises do not fail. EVER.

Remember verse 12 above? The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous {who are only made so because of Him}, and His ears are open to their prayer.

He won't leave us stranded. When we cry out to Him for help, he HEARS us!! He is constantly watching us, and listening for those who are His.  Isn't that incredible?

We are called to bless instead of curse- to be humble, to be tenderhearted, to be in unity with everyone, including our family, and we can do it because of what Christ did for us first. He was cursed and didn't return the curses, insulted and beaten without cause for our sake, and even defeated death so that we could stand with His power, and in His presence.

Our Jesus took it all on Himself, so that we could become His righteous, chosen people.

I don't understand it. I don't know why He loves us so much. But we are His treasure, His chosen ones, and we are called to live like it! We are called to be a light and react with humbleness because He did. And we can do it because He did it for us!!

We are not alone- He knows our weaknesses. He knows how shoes left out everywhere {!} grate my nerves on a daily basis, but He wants me to cry out to Him and seek peace with my family. He wants me to be humble enough to reach down and pick up the shoes 50,000 times so that I have to draw from His strength and not my own. He is pruning my old heart each time to look more like His new one, because He loves me and he wants me to bear His fruit.

Those are my spiritual sacrifices to Him- giving up my will for His. To serve instead of being served. To bless when I feel like cursing. He wants my heart to live for Him, and to love others more than myself.

It sounds impossible, but I know my God can do it. He has asked me to do it, and He has given me the power to do it through Him. He has promised me He will not leave me or forsake me, and that He will give me the strength I need.

Oh, I want to number my days. I want to live in wisdom. I want to know that if I were going to meet Jesus tomorrow morning, I would be happy with the way I lived in Him today. I want to know that if this was my last week- last year- on this earth, that my family would remember a girl who loved Jesus more than anything, and a girl who loved and gave up herself for them on a daily basis.

I want those thousands of little daily choices to add up to one obvious decision- that girl lived for Jesus alone and not for herself.

Please let it be so, Jesus. Holy Spirit, please teach me to number my days so that I can have wisdom today. Remind me of how fleeting this season is. Of how fleeting I am.

Oh Jesus, please let my life be for you and not myself. Forgive my hard heart, make me new, give me a clean and pure heart through your Son so that I can stand before you blameless and whole. I know you have already done the work- please change my heart to be more and more like yours, and make every day I have with these children and this husband count, Lord Jesus. Please don't let me get in the way with my sinful desires. Please overcome my flesh and give me a new spirit that is humble and full of peace.